.me being me.

31.1.06

today is the 3rd day of CNY if i remember correctly. it doesnt feel very CNY this year, it feels just like another day in 2006 with pending exams around the corner with a pair of very very very ache-ish and painful legs. it really hurts like hell man!! its makes me feel very snappish and irritated. it still wobbles and hurts like mad when i stand too long or walk to much. i can't sit cross legged without feeling the anguish when i try to cross them. it hurts even to move them a little. i wouldnt mind renting a wheelchair to wheel me around seriously. and i seriously dont like guys to pester me. just bug off if i dont respond coz cant you see i am not interested!?!? so quit calling me before i turn nasty which i am capable of when i'm feeling pissed. and i am feeling super ultra irritated right now.

hais. anyways, on a lighter note, met up with qian and her younger sis for a movie at suntec last night. and we had quite a night travelling home because after missing the last train, we took a wrong bus that brought us to AMK, then in the end we took a cab from there. lolx.

whatever, i dont quite like CNY this year. feels kinda meaningless to me actually. unlike christmas or something where there is a reason for celebration, but CNY?? its just a season when kids can collect ang baos thats all wad. having family dinners and stuffs can be done throughout the year, not just during CNY. if i want i can meet up with my cousin whenever i wish to. and i dont really care much about ang baos anymore at this age i suppose. and every year we wish for a prosperous new year, and i find it so stupid actually because whether the year ahead is prosperous or not does not depend on just a wish, people actually have to work for it one what right?? i dont believe in superstitions. but i respect pple who does as long as they dont overdo it.

i suppose in life theres a limit to everything. to patience, to love, to hate, to tolerance to endurance. and the limit differs from individuals. i suppose all in all it works only when it is balanced. like you wont know what's good till you've experienced the bad. so you will understand what is happiness till you've experienced whats unhappy.

and many childhood dreams are just fairytales. when it comes to living, being real and harsh is unadvoidable. virtues are harder to achieve because its man against nature and blending in proves difficult in this modern world.

.ruffles off.

28.1.06

gossssssshhhhh. went for tkd training yesterday and actually trained after like a million years. previously i've been going tkd to practice for open house's demo with the demo team, so i havent been like kicking alot or exercising my muscles much. today was madness although yesterday's training was much less tougher than tuesday's training which i skipped.. hehee. but seriously after doing squats, my legs gave way totally man. i think the last time my muscles felt so strained was the first time i joined tkd. lolx. we actually did more than a hundred kicks today and i didnt even deliver a single kick the right way. felt like i was just kicking for the sake of lifting my legs to slap, or more like just touch the target. much less talk about power and strength. legs wobbly like siao. i'll probably spend my first day of new year tmr with very painful and aching legs. hehh. anyways, happy chinese new year people!! have a great year ahead!! its time to see how much my nephews and nieces have grown over the past year, and gosh, most of my cousins are married already =))

well not forgetting exams are also just round the corner, i have to constantly remind myself not to slack!! how horrible. and gosh, efma is killing me. i actually think biz finance is easier, and i just hope my retail tutor will take things easy when she marks the paper coz she's a super hard tutor to please. and i also hope i have enough brain cells to memorize all the theory stuffs. argggh. what a horrible cny this year heh.

.ruffles off.

26.1.06

my stupid blogger interface is in traditional chinese!!!!!! its so so so so IRRITATING.

anyways, chinese new year is just round the corner and so are exams!!! =((

scarrrrrrrrryyyyy. but i love my life the way it is now =))

to my ee gong darlings, lets study hard together kk!!!! it'll be over soon in 2 weeks time!!!!!!!!!!!!

to qtmk, oh gosh, where are u girls man!?!? what ever happened to us meeting up?????

heh. anyways, happy happy~ =))

loves lovesssss~

.ruffles off.

22.1.06

i think i'm in my very pmsy mood these couple of days. i got pissed with some stuffs yesterday for open house and today i got worked up again. issit me or what?? i know i'm not a very patient person.. but i'm feeling really really so angry. or WAS feeling angry till i chatted with some friends, and tracy wan was bombing my msn with winks at the same time. i nearly went bonkers.

the thought of going IPP sucks man. it gives me the very lonely feeling. imagine having to go work alone, eat lunch alone, go home alone, all from 9am to 5pm. waaaaaaaahhh. torture. reminds of the 2 days i spent at comfort HQ during my first stopover in TEP with jiamin. but it was memorable tho. but i dun wanna go through it again lah.. lol. i nearly cried man. serious.

now i understand why adults say the older pple gets, the harder it is to make friends. i'm not really keen to make friends anymore. i'm just happy with my friends in my life right now. ee gong clan, qtmk, fairsians, mc people and some tkd peeps.

exams. time flies. 1 yr is not really a long time actually. but so many things can happen within a year, so many changes. i feel myself changing. people around me is changing. perception of life changes. knowing what is right or wrong doesnt really matter till you make a decision because knowing is just a process that is not yet final.

.ruffles off.

19.1.06

woohoo!! gone are all the projects and tests!!!!!!! me and my classmates are like a bunch of pandas walking around. heh. so tired and sleepy.

BUT IT FEELS SO GOOD TO BE NOT DOING REPORTS AT THIS TIME OF THE NIGHT FOR ONCE!!!!!

freedom...!!

heheeeee =))

anyways, oh gosh. i'm gonna go IPP soon after my exams. external attachment. on the 13th of feb. time flies!! sighs.

i'll miss my ee gong clan alot =((

i'll miss those year threes graduating from NYP soon =((

i'll miss having them in TKD =((

i hate changes =((

i'm happy now, being with my ee gong clan everyday, going through everything, doing all the stupid shit that we always do =))

i'm happy now, having those year threes like fazli, weiping, neyton, marcus, dennis, janson and many many others still in tkd now before they graduate =))

i'm happy now, that finally a week of stress is over =))

i feel like crying because i feel so blessed having them in my life =))

i feel like crying because when i hear those graduating soon promising me they'll come back, which i'm not sure if they will, but i'm just happy that they promised that they will, and even if they break their promise one day, they know i'll miss them tons, and i know they'll come back if they have the time =))

i feel like crying because i love them =))

yes. each and every single one of them in my own way =))

sighs. tts life huh.. changes.

people come and go. i chose who will stay... i hope they'll stay, but if my wish doesnt come true, its ok.. coz i know at this moment, they're with me =))

i suppose its moments that matters in the end. moments that pieces up my life =))

that keeps me happy..
sane...
loved...

=))

.ruffles off.

13.1.06

oh my. projs projs and upcoming tests are piling up. NEXT WEEK. so many to be done, all due NEXT WEEK. open house is also on NEXT WEEK. so many piano makeup classes to be done NEXT WEEK. argh. everything's on NEXT WEEK.

week 14's my doom week.

but i still had time to go new year shopping with my ee gong clan yesterday after class =)) rushed here and there. so totally no time and i'm not done with shopping yet.

i probably wont be meeting QTK for visiting on chinese new year afterall coz my stupid exams fall on the new year week. arghhhhh. so while you guys collect ang baos, dont forget abt the poor bunch of us studying for exams okk!!

and its kinda chaotic with the admin part in music concerto coz of all the transfering of students and everything. poor ros and florence, having to work OT and everything.

and i miss playing piano. i havent really practised on my piano recently coz i'm always home late and i dont dare to play the piano at night. i really cant do without music. it always soothes me esp when i feel frustrated or something.

there was a robbery a few days back at my void deck. the poor victim for beaten up quite badly and now dad is even more worried about me coming home late. haisss. he'll probably call me even more often after tkd now.

ok anyways, wish me luck tmr for ntu's friendly tkd match. i MIGHT fight. most likely will. lol. sighs.

.ruffles off.

9.1.06

i had a really long day today.

went to school with shihui, but that girl was late so we ended up late for retail lect and skipped it in the end since we've left like only 30 mins of the 1hr lect, so we waited at south canteen for the rest to come join us. then went for marketing tut, then efma lect. i suppose our class is united in a sense that theres no backstabbing here and there, or some major bitching between some people. our peace meter is like at 8/10? which is why classes are always fun because something funny always happen in the classrooms.

then accompanied huimin to have her lunch cum dinner coz she skipped lunch then went e-plaza to join shihui, lishi and jingpei to start on our marketing project. not much was done, but i'm glad its somehow started.

went back to mc coz one of our colleuge's dad passed away last week. so sad for her man. then the rest of us has to split her students among us coz she can't come back to teach anymore. i opened 4 timeslots for ros to fit in students and that is the best that i can do coz i feel that i've got enough commitments currenly for me to handle more students. i've also passed one of my private students to jeremy.

so it was like gathering for us at mc. florence, janet, ros, sean, richalynn, jeremy and his gf and me. the shop was like filled with our chitter chatter, the bustling about, fitting in timeslots, fighting for time and the shop was really so lively, it feels kinda homely actually. lol. but poor ros was so busy she nearly went bonkers. plus we had abit of problem with cash today, but all's fine and well after we spent like nearly 30 mins to solve the problem. so it was a long day for everyone.

one thing that i like about pple in mc is that we have a common interest, which is music!! you can sing, dance and play any instruments and dont feel out of place. i realised my clique in school and tkd members wouldnt usually just belt out any tunes out of the blue, but in mc pple does that all the time. i like mc except that theres politics in this tiny shop.

now my hols mood is fading away coz my exam timetable is out already. oh my goodness. dead meat man. we have 4 projs due and 2 test coming up all on week 14, which is like next week!! *faints*. WHY WHY WHY do they have to squeeze everything on week 14. hais.

thank God IVP's postponed to march. else i seriously wonder how am i gonna cope having to study, train and teach all at the same time.

i'm looking forward to mid feb when exams are over.

for now, i'd need to buck up and stop being such a lazy ass. sighs.

.ruffles off.

6.1.06

crazy is the word. pair it up with lazy. tts me.

i'm feeling so lazy lazy lazy.
because its all back to school again.
and its driving me crazy crazy crazy.

just found out that kimmy had chicken pox and is currently recovering from it.
and mr tocky just had an awful op on his ass and is also recovering from it.
poor them... get well soon okkk!! =))

and qtmk will be MEETING up soon. we planned to go tanning (shd have seen how excited kim n tracy was), shopping (kim and i havent done our christmas shopping), watch movie (Geisha and the elizabethtown thingy and watch kim go gaga over orlando), visit each other during CNY (their objective is to get ANG BAOS). qian hui MIA from the conversation because that girl is not on msn.

i must stop lazing. 3 test, 3 projects to do within 2 weeks. come on, somebody, please wake me up!!! tell me to stop dreaming!! HOLS ARE OVER!!! I NEED TO MOVE ON. STUDY!! SO I CAN FASTER GO IPP, FASTER FINISH LAST SEM AND GET OUT OF NYP.

well i'm not the only one feeling lazy. my entire clique is. everyone is. everyone is sick of school. OH GOSH. jia you pple!! we can get through this!!!!!!!!!!

tmr's EFMA class is cancelled. so happy. dont need to see that woman's face. i really hate her man. she's so robotic. hais. ok. hate is too harsh a word. i dislike her. hhmm... sounds better right?

i cut my hair today. coz i think i wouldnt have time this weekend, neither the next.

florence wants to go blading and shopping, but i really have no time to meet her at all. i really miss those times we go town, shop and walk around like theres no tomorrow, gossip and stuffs.

tkd is taking up a lot of my time.

i nearly fell asleep while teaching piano today and nearly flared at the poor boy. one of my new year's resolution: BE MORE PATIENT. i'm sure huimin would agree.

guys. drives me crazy. cupid should take a rest for the time being.

and i'm not fierce, i'm reasonable ok. i'm hate it when pple think i'm angry when i'm NOT!!! its just the way i express myself. if i'm angry at you, you'll know definitely. i'll MAKE SURE you know i'm angry- that is- if i'm angry at you. so if you're not sure if i'm angry, tt means i'm NOT.

i wanna change my phone. my phone has been dropped like a thousand times by myself and many many people. but its still as durable as ever, which is why i love it alot. but its getting old. my line can only be extended in feb. so i can only change my phone in feb.

i'm backsliding too much. i need to get back to God. i need to.

i'm becoming such a meanie and i hate it.
wheres my innocence, my compassion and everything good that i have been given? another new year resolution: BE NICER TO PPLE. CULTIVATE COMPASSION.

i'm developing moodswings that i hate. i'm depending too much on my mood. once i have no mood for anything. nothing will be done.

i wanna work in the zoo or set up a business in the future and teach part time piano.

and of course, hope to get married before i turn 30 if i ever find the 'right one'. *shudders*.
oh yeah. another new year resolution: APPRECIATE PPLE AROUND ME.

sighs. i have to go zzz. its going be another long day that i'm not looking forward to. i'm just blabbering whatever's on my brain through a drowsy mind.

nites.

.ruffles off.

4.1.06

in ICT class right now. just finished a presentation. Oh goodness. well, i think it went pretty well lah, except for some minor miscommunication. heheeee.

hhmm... 2006. i seriously hope i can stay on track for everything. These 2 months would be a really busy month with exams, IVP, open house and all the preperations. i hardly have time to study. there are still 2 more projects that have yet to be done and i'm so neglecting my students, coz i keep having to change the time and everything. poor them. i kinda miss them actually. they are really damn cute lah, all the stupid and rubbish stuffs that they do. sometimes they really piss me to the max man, but they're damn adorable with their innocence.

stupid huimin, duno wad she talking about.. keep hearing my name, then she dun wanna tell me what's she saying. GRRR. hahaaa.

shihui: Lets go swimming mad ! =D

ok... that was shihui. i duno why she keeps calling me MAD. crazy women. hahaa.. then now her bf calls me MAD. ohh my.. hahaa.

ok.. i needa go now..

hey pple... take care...

with love,
medeline.

.ruffles off.