.Dont start with Me.
.you wont win.
28.9.05
in IBRC again. planned to do my reports, but laziness got into me and i only managed to finish half of the business process flowchart before pple started to msg me on msn, then people came in and out of the room to disturb. hais, i got no mood to do my reports already.
so here i am, blogging beside jieying whom i just helped to start a blog. sighs. life in NYP is damn sad leh. i miss fairfield. my darlings in nyp all like having bgr probs.
sighs. life back in fmss was perfect. i didnt appreciate much of it till now. nyp is a web of complications. politics, true faces of what life really is. i feel like i havent been living much till this year. like God parted a curtain in my life and sent me out into this imperfect world. hahaaaa. sorry, i know its a little drama, but thats how it is to me.
sighs. now i know life isnt perfect. this imperfection i see has taught me how to appreciate and cherish. it makes me guilty. i feel guilty for neglecting my family... even my doggie. i feel guilty for not spending enough time with my friends... esp qtmk. they are pple close to my heart, but yet i dont grab every opportunity i have to meet up with them. my family, my friends.... they've always been there. and i expect that they will be always. i know they wont be, i feel guilty for thinking that they will be. and i can't seem to change the way i am no matter how i fear that i would regret.
to my poly darlings: jieying, huimin, shihui, jiajia, lishi.............
i love you guys more than ever through this TEP and everything that we've shared and gone through. lets hope all the heartaches will be gone soon okkkkkkkkkkkkk!! =)) i just cant wait for classical modules to start and our bitchifier's/gossifiers club (anything lah jieying!!!!!) can gather again ok.. hahaaaaaa =P
to somebody(you will know who you are after reading this):
i dont know what to say to you. i also dunno how to face you. frankly speaking, i also dunno how to react infront of you. so i'll just blog. you may get to read this, you might not. i'll leave it to God's will. after avoiding our problems for so long, it just keeps coming back to me. i did receive your email, i dont know how to reply you so i didnt. i thought maybe if i just leave and go for that shanghai trip first, things might just work out on its own. but apparently, it didnt. instead, it just got worse. i know i cant hide anymore. till now, i still dunno what to do, because theres some things i wanna talk n ask you about. but i dont dare, because i dont know what will happen. can say i'm tired of us not communicating well already. its there from the start of our friendship, and its still here. maybe i gave up long ago and was ready to give up and stop there.. till i received your email and i got so confused again. when i saw you yesterday, i wanted very much to go over and speak to you, but pride and confusion got into me. its like having a war with myself. i wanna know what has been going on, i wanna tell you what i know, i want you to tell me all the truths. but i'm not prepared to take the slap from reality. but i suppose i had enough. i cant go on avoiding forever. not when other people misunderstands from the rumours that they hear. i hate the way i feel now. i dont know what you'll do after reading this. i've said the things that i've been keeping inside.
i'm ssooooooooooooooooooooo tired of these kinda things. wished life could be better. but i'm not complaining that life is bad. its good, just that.... maybe it could have been better without problems.
well whatever. meeting darling qian later. THIS is something i'm looking forward to... =)
.ruffles off.
27.9.05
heh. in IBRC surfing the web now. so hungryyyyy. its lunchtime, but my dear huimin is sleeping on the table BESIDE me. hungry hungry.......!!! shouldnt have let her fallen asleep just now. hahaa. maybe i'll wake her up after typing this entry. hehes.
anyways, its only tuesday. just 3 more weeks before TEP ends!!!!!!! so happy!!!! i'm counting down everyday man. yeah.. and a DBI friend just told me his TEP would end this week. arrggggghhhh.. how jealous. heheeee. but its okkkkk... knowing that TEP is ending in 3 weeks is good enough, coz i wouldnt need to wake up at 6am everyday after that!! i'm like so deprived of sleep!!
hm.... huimin is still sleeping. talking to sean on msn right now.... YAY!!! huimin just woke up!!!!!!!! oh greaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat. i can go have lunch now. sorry for all the crap. will be going for mobile selling around NYP again after lunch. cccyaaaas.
.ruffles off.
25.9.05
heheee... just changed my blog skin again. the blue one was too boring, too plain, so i decided on this one. but its kinda sweet huh... a little too sweet for me. but i like it a lot. lolx. looks more sylvia-ish than me. lolx.
anyways, met up with florence and went orchard to shop. walked till my foot ached man. tt girl can really walk. then was supposed to do some voluntary work with weiping they all, but neyton couldn't make it, so weipig and gang ended up joining me and florence. walked around again. was laughing and playing around... so tt kinda rounded up my day.
hm.... last week was busy man. but thank God its over. been meeting up with jieying, jiajia, lishi, shihui, huimin and zhihong throughout the week =) and i really miss them loads. i miss hanging out with them. but i have no idea where did karkit disappear to eversince he had a gf. but anyways, i had fun laughing and chatting like the good old times before TEP started. i feel that we've grown closer than before. that's good. lolx. i just can't wait for classical modules to start so i can meet them everyday again. lolx. dont think i'll get sick of their faces lah.. i feel happy with them around to joke and share stuffs =) and i miss studying..... seriously. i think i'm mad. lolx.
wells.... my mood was kinda bad last week. no idea why. maybe because i felt so lost, i didnt know what i wanted, i didnt know what to do. but now i do!!! arrgghhhh.. its so nice to find myself back. i hate feeling lost. but anyways, i feel good now. i feel happy. =) and i'm so gonna meet qian on wed!!!! i miss you gurl!!!!
kinda late right now. and i'm gonna go zzz. tmr i still have piano lessons in the morning, then i might meet tkd peeps in orchard again.......... that is, if my dad doesnt nag at me for going out so often lahs?? alrightssss.. cya nites!
.ruffles off.
21.9.05
its 8:40am and i'm still at home. supposed to be in sch right now!!!! oh myyyyy. what am i doing at home man. but i really dont want to go school. serious. school's a chore chore chore chore chore. hate it man. hells. nope. i shd say TEP is a chore. succccks. my dog's sleeping on my lap. i really dont want to go school, but the damn presentation slides for tomorrow is with me and we have a meeting with chan mali chan later at 11am. shits. how? the file is too large to be sent through email. howwwww nice. thus i will need to get my lazy ass off the chair n take the train. or the cab. taking taxis is a waste of money and i get carsick. but the train is damn packed and i seriously dont feel good squeezing in the train with so many pple. i hate crowds. i really do. and i seriously have no motivation to walk to school. wished i could just drive, or more like wish my daddy could drive me to school like he used to everyday. i wish. but he's zzzz-ing right now. i also wanna zzzz. damn sleepy. urrgggh. i know i'm a total slacker. i seriously am giving up. but i can't cant cant!! if only i could just hide somewhere till TEP is over. tired tired tired. sick sick sick. urggggh.
madness. extreme madness. hate TEP.
.ruffles off.
20.9.05
in IBRC right now. was editing presentation slides with andy for our thursday presentation infront of the director for our china trip!!! oh no man. i hope my mind wont blank out on me. yucks. dont wanna think man. first time using com in IBRC. kinda cosy and quiet here... nice =) huimin left for a while to meet her friend, so i'm alone right now. think i've gotten used to being left alone already. i dont mind being alone even, especially during times like now. now i know how to appreciate PRIVACY. yeah. oh right.... now jieying's here. there goes my privacy.... lolx. but i dont mind lah. she's somebody i'm familiar with =) she arh!! noisy sia!!! lolx.. she even mistook a polar bear pic in my wallet for a hamster. lolx.
anyways, since i came back from the trip. life's been hectic again. kinda miss those days in shanghai. the fun and everything. =(
oh wells, i should be thankful that i had the chance to GET AWAY from TEP for a week. I CAN'T WAIT TO START CLASSICAL MODULES!!!!!! I'M SO SICK OF SELLING STUFFS!!! I KNOW I'M IN A BUSINESS SCHOOL, BUT IT JUST MAKES ME SICK MAN.
ok.. sorry for the outburst. but i'm really so sick of doing sales sales sales and more sales. push sales, persuade people to buy stuffs. man, i feel so delusional. one thing i've learnt in TEP is that you need to BOOTLICK your way through coz pple like to hear NICE things. urggggghhh. disgusting. if i wanna do well, i'd better bootlick. be a two-faced bitch infront of the teachers. sick man. anyways, its 23 minutes to 6pm. yay! then i'll be off to tkd training. and then i'll try to promote the Don's pie after training. argggh. disgusting. just can't wait to get this stopover over and done with. not forgetting this thurs presentation.
sorry. enough of complaining i guess. hm... shihui's on block leave till this thurs. so sianed. well, but i had fun meeting up with huimin darling these couple of days. she's a nutcase lah. but both of us really can laugh till we go mad. lolx. oh yeah... i had fun playing street fighter in lishi's roadshow room with andy. hahaaaaa. man, i was laughing like mad. soooo exciting okays!! hahaaaa.. and i love playing street fighter now. lolx. i know its a stupid game to some, but i like it lehs? heheee. then then.. we had don sampling yesterday. gosssh, we had extra samples and we shared the pie. damn filling and nice... really... this time i'm not lying. so buy one from me ok???
alrights. i'm going back to festive room soon, get ready to pack up and GO. heheees. for the long term goal, i cant wait for TEP to end. but till then, i can't wait to go shopping this sat with florence.
oh yeah.... good luck to all whos taking your piano exams!! =)
.ruffles off.
17.9.05
my blogger is still in chinese!! its damn irritating lah! traditional chinese sommore!! i wonder what did i do man, i dont ever remember changing the options to chinese or whatsoever. now i dont even know where are the options to change the blogger language to english.
anyways, didnt meet qian in the end yesterday. so i thought maybe i could meet florence, but she had something on, so i thought maybe i'll just go back early and sleep early coz i'm so deprived of sleep man. but i ended up going to chompchomp with shihui, lishi, jiajia, eewei, christina, jasper and jiawen. hahaaa. but i went to amk central to with shihui to her mom's boutique first coz lishi went to teach tuition and we waited for her to finish first before meeting up with jiajia they all at chompchomp. jasper and jiawen bluffed that they weren't coming, when we got up the bus to chompchomp, we saw them sitting at the back seats. hahaaa. then when we reached chompchomp, shihui, lishi and me went to look for jiajia they all first coz jasper and jiawen wanna surprise them. thinking that jasper and jiawen weren't coming anymore, they started to eat already, then they received a huge surprise when they saw the two of them man. lolx. chatted, crapped and laughed a lot. and i was getting jasper and jiawen to buy the don pies and they bought 1 each fom jiajia and eewei under their personal selling. heheee.. so thats 2 more sales out of the 500 that we have to hit. pathetic huh. think we've got around 20+ sales now?? or at least till yesterday. PATHETIC!!! argh.
ok anyways, after dinner, we went to some bench to sit and chat. chatted about all the stuffs that going on within TEP. this and that.. all the love triangles, all the truths.. all the people. conflicts. whoa. complicated. sometimes i agree with the saying that 'ignorance is bliss'. maybe maybe. maybe it would have been better if questions were left unanswered or maybe not. people deserves to know the truth, or more like, somebody has every right to know the truth. but whatever, we finally had some answers to our questions. lolx. but whatever, all in all, we had fun!!
its a saturday and i'm home trying to finish up my report. and i'm so dying to meet qian, tracy and kim. arrgggghhhh. its like so difficult to meet up with them. irritating. qian hui!! when can we go shopping to buy our slip ons?? i dont even know if they have them anymore.
heh anyways, i'm off to do my report and maybe try to look for a new blogskin later. kinda sian of the doggie already.. hehe.. bye!!!
.ruffles off.
16.9.05
in the free access lab now. supposed to be doing my immersion trip personal report, but my mind is blank man. i don't know where to start from.. i can't even remember some of the places we went to. arrggghh. and i forgot to bring my thumbdrive to school.
anyways, before i came up to the access lab, me and kiat boon went to visit ELDC. hahaaa. miss that place man. brought back lotsa memories... the comfort project, val, jiamin, christine, joana.. oooh~ miss them too. and i miss BPOS alot..... heh. now this stopover..... i really dunno what to say. our given sales target by our director for the pies is $8,000, coz he thinks our mooncake sales suck, which i agree lah, coz it only hit 50% of the past year sales. but the previous festive team and my team have already done all that we could to boost sales. door to door mobile selling, special delivery for NYP staffs, lucky draw and we even extended the ordering dates. i really have no idea what else we should or could have done. coz our mooncake sales were so low, the director decided to give us penalty. sighs. from the past year records, the highest sales achieved is only $2,000+ for the don pies. tell me how are we gonna hit $8,000 especially when everybody is having holidays huh. my team proposed to sell cheesecakes and brownies, but got rejected by the lecturers. and most TEP people said they would rather buy cheesecakes and brownies. so tell me how?? how how how?? hais.
anyways, enough of that. its back to my routined lifestyle after coming back from china. how boring. been doing a lot of make up lessons for my students for the lesson that they've missed. yesterday teach until i nearly wanna zzz while teaching. slept really early last night. couldnt take it anymore man. didnt feel like coming to school today either, but i shan't make it a habit to skip school, coz i know i'll get addicted to it and then i can say bye to my grades for this stopover. just a month more to go. i wont!! and i can't let anything screw up!!!!!! its been fine and well for the past two stopovers, and it has to be for this round. i didnt pay school fees to screw up my grades for nothing huh. scary.
and talking about grades, i should stop slacking and start racking my brains and see if i can squeeze some brain juices out for ideas for my report because its gonna be graded. well...take care peeps. oh yeah.. might be meeting darrling qian later. didnt see her msg last night coz i was in lalaland already. wonder if she saw my reply.. teehee!! well.. cyas~
.ruffles off.
15.9.05
its thursday already!!!! oh myyyy.. time really flies. i have only another week left to do get the project done, but i've yet to contact my group members. sighs. feel so lazy man. tirrreeeddddd.
anyways, i've been coming to school, sit around and constantly worry about our sales. anyways, we're selling Don chicken pies!!!!!!! the pies are about 20cm in diameter. we have 4 flavours: don chicken pie, kids don chicken pie (less pepper), black pepper chicken pie and vegetable pie. the classic don chicken pies and kids don chicken pies are selling at $13.90 each. the other two flavous are at $14.90 each. we are selling the pies at a discounted rate. and trust me, its damn nice. do get from me ok????????? distribution is on the 6th and 7th of oct. please place your orders with me before the 21st of sept alrightssss??? qian!! tracy!! kim!!! lijia!!! jereme!!! yenping!!! huihua!! lionel!!! aliff!!! siumei!!! everybody!! hais. just one each will do.. hehe.. serious. i'm kinda desperate already. kindaaa...
read jeremy's blog. and i got reminded of the times back in seconday school days yet again. i miss the times we had in sec school too. those were the more innocent days man. hais. but we all need to grow dont we? =) i'm happy i had beautiful memories in back then. and i miss my girls... qtk. good luck to kimmy and tracy for your exams!!! jia you!! =)
okies... thats all for now.. till then. ciao~!! =)
.ruffles off.
13.9.05
gone were the 8 days of fun and laughter. its now back to school, TEP, work and a whole load of things waiting for me to do. arrgggghh. time really flies man. wished i could stay longer in china... hahaa.. kidding. nah, i wouldnt want to stay there that long although the place turns quite nice by the night. love the weather at night. =) some of the people there are quite nasty tho.
anyways, i really did enjoy myself in china. hahaa. it was the people who went that made the trip worthwhile. nat, jean, deb, avel, jed, ethel, andy, weiling, harrold, brian, shao liang... hahaa... certainly we had fun =)
will post some pics up if i can get photobucket to load the pictures. there are tons of pics man!! hahaa... my blogger at home is in chinese!!! somebody please tell me how to change it back to english can???
hm....well, just one more month before we finish TEP!! YAY!!!! gonna get the results for my previous stopover tomorrow. hm... not too worried about it lah. but i am worried about this stopover. sighs. i'll just do the immersion trip's project well. whatever may happen, i can't control. =(
anywayssss~ so glad to be back in school. missed my classmates tons. bought some gifts for my TEP and classmates. i kinda miss china a little. the excitement of it all every morning....lolx. took an mc yesterday coz i was damn tired.
yawns. school's such a bore. in the access lab blogging now. so sleepy. doc said i've got a teeny bit of high blood pressure. so dont ci ji me ok!! hahaa.. kidding. ciao pple!
.ruffles off.
3.9.05
time really flies man.......... its saturday again. and tomorrow i'll be off to china!!! hahaa.. so excited man. but i'm so gonna miss my darling pappy. she irritates me at times but still, i love her. she's the first i see every morning when i wake up, sometimes she's the one who wakes me up. she's the one who gets all excited when she hears my footsteps when i reach home after a long and tired day. she's the one i hug to sleep, she's the one i love to tease, she's the one whom i give most of my hugs and kisses to. she's the one i can trust and ask her how and why when i've got problems, and she'll listen even though she doesnt understand a word i say. she's not just a dog, she's my baby, my little precious one. hahaa, and i love every single thing about her. hehes.
paiseh, i know its only a week, but i feel funny without seeing my precious everyday. she's damn cute lah. can't resist her man. hahaa.. anyways, recently i took some pics of her...
hehes. alrights lah, i know not everybody i as crazy as i am about my dog. but dont deny she's cute!! hahaa.. =)
anyways, yeah. i know i sound upset in my previous entries, but i'm fine.. so my dear friends, dont worry alrights? =) life is not always smooth sailing. theres just so many aspects of life that we need to lead. sometimes TEP can get so ridiculous that i seriously feel like giving up. but i wont because its my last stopover already. i've come so far, i shouldnt just give up like that right? then all my hardwork in the previous 2 stopovers would have gone to waste. but TEP really sucks lah. especially now. arrgggh. dont wanna talk abt it anymore, just can't wait for it to be over and done with. i'm thankful for some of the friends whom i've made... jiamin, val, christine, joana in eldc. jiahui, yingying, puilin, peinam frim BPOS. hehes. the first two stopovers wouldnt have been memorable without them =)
but stilll. TEP sucks. although not totally, but it isnt useful, only a little maybe.
hm.... sighs. i told lishi about something thats bothering me a lot. she asked me what am i gonna do about it. seriously i have no idea. i dont even know what do i want. she understands how i feel, but she doesnt know how to advice me either. its such a headache. no matter how many people i ask advice from, ultimately, its me who makes a decision. i'm just afraid that i might regret. i hate to regret. i dont want to regret. but i'm scared too. theres only so much i can handle. i wanna wait till life is not that hectic before i do anything, but i really wonder when will life not be so hectic. i really dont know what to do. the more of it i see, the more confused i am. the more it bugs me. the more i want it to be fine. arrrgggh.
avoiding is an easy way out that has no end.
heh. but i always take the easy way out. because i dont dare to face the problem.
whatever. i'm just gonna leave everything aside for a week and not think about anything. i'm just gonna enjoy myself to the max with my dear debbie and avel, jed and his gf and the rest of my tourmates. lolx. so cyas peeps. qtk dearies, i'll miss you!!!!! and miss me too. haha. so i'l be back on the 11th of sept. take care... God bless everyone.
.ruffles off.